Reflection of Project 3 Draft

1) The purpose in my first draft was to portray the importance of telescopes and how this TMT will help our future without destroying the culture and environment on Mauna Kea. My audience was aimed to this posting on social media about shutting down TMT. IT was celebrities to many others who heard about the controversy and wanted to join the protest. I feel like I reached my purpose but organized it in a confusing way. I am going to reorganize the paper to make it flow better so my audience can get a better understanding on my viewpoint. 

2) I am revising my paper to make it more clear an understanding. If it doesn't give off the right purpose or message my audience will not be pursuaded, making the paper not accomplish anything towards the controversy. I am going to make it flow better by re organizing the paragraphs and cutting out any extra information. 

3) I am revising it for my audience so they can focus on reading the paper without being confused or misunderstanding any statements. It needs to be read through clearly so they can ponder on my viewpoints on the controversy. If they are confused my point will not persuade them to take any actions.

4)I believe the length of paper in good and has plenty of details 

- I like the format that it is in. It comes off as an article type of righting with more personal opinions.

- I need to add some visual effects to grasp my audiences attention while reading through the paper. 

- I have plenty of evidence and quotes spread out through my paper to create credibility 

- My intro just needs an opening quote to catch attention. But my conclusion wraps up all my ideas and points nicely

- I am going to switch around the structure of my argument my adding my rebuttals to the end this time instead of the beginning. 

- My argument has depth because it brings in many others viewpoints that are similar to mine.

Jake Glatting
Adam Karsten