Final Project 4

Dear Ms. Wolfe and fellow classmates,

Over the course of this class I have obtained new strategies in the processes of my writing. This class has taught me many things including time management and the specific steps needed to be taken to make a solid piece of writing. Some of the major aspects of writing I learned was how to gather sources and information to make a strong public argument and how to revise a paper correctly before turning in the final product. This class has brought my writing to another level which will keep progressing throughout my college career.

At the beginning of this class my writing processes consisted of a detailed plan followed by a certain time in which I would sit down and write the paper all at once. It is how I like to write and it is how I have formed myself as a writer. At the beginning of this class I said, “My writing process involves the "heavy planners" and the procrastination techniques. Even though the two seem contradicting, I tend to plan out my work piece by piece with every little detail, and then I write the whole thing at once near the end.”. These two strategies have stuck with me throughout the course, however, I have included a new strategy into the process of my writing that progressed through this class. This new process was called “heavy revisions”. Before I would always write my papers and not change much between the draft and the final. As the class progressed and we had assignments on revising I realized that so much needs to be changed and added to the draft to make it final. Although I didn’t do much revising for my first paper, as the second paper came along I noticed that I added and changed many aspects to my paper which made it a lot better. By the time the third paper came, I noticed that my draft almost looked nothing like my final. After revising I noticed that, “ From my draft I re organized the paragraphs to make it flow better, Integrated my quotes and gave them deeper analysis, and also added visual effects to my paper. There were also multiple grammar mistakes that I had to fix.” All of,  “These changes make my argument more thorough and easier to read, making my audience see that my writing is organized showing that I know what I'm doing. This gives my paper credibility. A well presented paper makes the writer look like a professional.” This showed the benefits my revisions had on my argument and my audience.  

Even though I thought some of the processes we went through were pointless at the time, I now see how important and vital they were to my writing. For example the cluster maps, gathering of multiple sources, and peer reviews  helped the planning and final product of my writing.  "In this cluster, I separated the information into three parts. The first part contains the main rhetorical strategies that are in the article that have appeals to credibility and logic. The second part shows the main cultural values that portrayed in the article. The final part contains all the rhetorical situations including the audience, context, and purpose of the article." The cluster maps visually organized the controversies in my writing, helping me see what I was going to say for both sides of the issue. The idea of having more sources than needed let me pick and chose from which articles would be good and bad for each writing. I was even able to use sources for multiple projects. Finally the peer reviews were also a huge success in this course. "After reading through my peers drafts, I realized that people make these types of errors all the time.  I realized that you have to read very closely to find some of them, but they are there. The most common error I found was in needed words and variety. A lot of people didn't have a huge variety of sentences. Second people were missing words that could have been used to make their sentences a little bit more clear." They showed me how my other classmates wrote and the common mistakes we were all making in our writings. It also helped me find issues and help my classmates. For example I helped fix a grammar problem in one of my peers drafts after learning new punctuation rules. "Every single person struggles with some aspect of the social game throughout life. Whether the struggle involves making new friends, keeping old ones, or having the courage to go ask out that pretty girl across the room that you know is way out of your league,; robots can help you to gain confidence, make a new friend, and learn how to interact in all of those situations that you never thought you could." The semicolon was not used correctly, therefore, I noted that it should change to a comma. I can confidently say that nothing in the class hurt or did not work in the process of my writing. Each aspect contributed in some way towards my final writings.

The final aspect this class taught me was how to write different forms of writing. Throughout highschool and the first semester of college I was used to writing standard college form essays. But in this class that changed. I learned that, "the conventions of a quick reference guide seem to be a way to organize information to show give the public a quick insight about a certain topic, person, or event.". A QRG was very knew to me. Before this class I had no idea what one was and after I had successfully written my own QRG. I also wrote my one public argument in an article format where I was able to express my own ideas in my paper which was very new to me.

Over the next few years I see my writing progressing exponentially. I believe that the mechanics that I learned in this class and English 101 will stick with me as I go on to writing Astronomy articles along with business papers. This class focused on addressing the audience in the best manner possible. As I carry that aspect with me through my college years it will help me communicate better through my papers ending with a better result. The new strategies of gathering sources, planning, writing in different formats, and revisions will help make my writing grow and mature as I move on through these next few years.

Sincerely

Aaron Jatana

Here I am about to take my victory lap..

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KVuM6I4ZN6AIUeJIaHLzXDqEAXdVMbE6Hevo23HeqaQ/edit

Reflection on Open Letter Draft

I reviewed Helen's and Selena's papers.

1) My classmates at teacher are going to be the audience of this paper. I am trying to explain to them my achievements and thoughts in the English 102 class. 

2) There is not much biases my readers will have because this letter is only explaining my thoughts and opinions on the class and what I have personally learned and achieved. Therefore, I am respecting their opinions while writing this letter.

3) The expectations are details and examples of ideas and aspects of the class that helped me improve my writing. They want to see how my work has changed throughout this course along with my view of writing. 

4) There is not much background information I need to give my audience because they all went through the class too. The only context that I provide are examples of my writings and thoughts that occurred earlier in the class. 

5) The language suitable for my audience in an educated and informative language. It explains and shows my opinions on the course without disrespecting any feelings of others. 

6) The tone I should use toward my audience is a calm and conversational tone that keeps the audience intrigued while reading this letter. 

Peer Review for Project 4

I reviewed the projects of Helen and Selena 

Draft of Open Letter 

My draft consists of multiple explanation of how my writing improved and how it improved. It explains the processes that I thought were successful in this class. If you guys can comment on the integration of my quotes and any ideas on author resources I could possible use in my draft. Also if you can comment in my introduction and its organization that would be awesome. 

Draft of open letter

Reflection on My Writing Experiences 

1) Before taking my first-year composition courses I thought that english and writing were just classes that I needed to get out of the way as a requirement through the school. But little did I realize that I will be writing business papers, presentations, articles all throughout my college years, and that these classes will help perfect my writing for my other classes when professional papers are needed to be done. 

2) The biggest lesson I learned is that no paper or any form of writing is its best when first written. Writing needs to be read aloud, twisted, changes, and reformatted before and can be decided to be published. Its a whole process when writing a paper, and revisions are one of the most important parts about it.

"As the second project came along I still planned it out very specifically and waited for the last minute, however, I looked over my draft and final paper 2 or 3 more times than I ever did before. I even remember when I was turning in my second project, I was confident that it was thoroughly done and didn't have many mistakes at all. I knew that it read through clearly and that made me feel very confident while turning it in."

3) I liked how in the class we made cluster maps and found more sources than we needed, making us have extensive research done before the writing even began. It helped by having many options to choose from and made me narrow it down and focus on one idea.

"In this cluster, I separated the information into three parts. The first part contains the main rhetorical strategies that are in the article that have appeals to credibility and logic. The second part shows the main cultural values that portrayed in the article. The final part contains all the rhetorical situations including the audience, context, and purpose of the article."

4) I really liked the peer review process because it helped me see what my other classmates were writing about and how different their writing structures were compared to mine. There comments on my paper also helped a lot by catching things that I did not see.

"After reading through my peers drafts, I realized that people make these types of errors all the time.  I realized that you have to read very closely to find some of them, but they are there. The most common error I found was in needed words and variety. A lot of people didn't have a hug variety of sentences. Second people were missing words that could have been used to make their sentences a little bit more clear."

5) In this course we didn't get the chance to have conferences with our instructor because it was an online class. But the comments left on our papers helped out a lot. 

6) I actually talked to many people about my controversy because they would ask why Im writing a paper during summer, and the conversation would lead to me telling them why a telescope should be built on the sacred land of Mauna Kea. This helped because it gave me other peoples views on my views. 

7) My revision process changed throughout the class as I didn't look over much on the first paper but as the class progressed I realized its importance and started to revise and change my papers making them much more better. For the second and third essay I read aloud and changed my paper multiple times.

8) I never knew what a QRG was before this class. It was fun to write one and understand its significance. Also my last essay I wrote it in an article format. I thought it was easier than a standard college essay because there weren't as many restrictions

"the conventions of a quick reference guide seem to be a way to organize information to show give the public a quick insight about a certain topic, person, or event."

9) I would understand the significance of the work better and definitely revise my previous papers a lot more. 

10) I can now see how college writing will help me later in writing business papers and journal articles. It helped my address an audience in the most effective way which is a great advantage to have as a writer. 

11) I learned that revising is an extremely important part of the writing process. I also learned that QRG's are a very successful way to become familiar with a certain topic.

12) Yes, after doing the three projects, I realized that I am and may always be a procastinated writer, however, its not a bad thing if I leave time to always get it done and to revise. 

13)I feel like I gained many new aspects of writing from each of the projects done in this class. None of them seemed pointless or not helpful in any way. 

14)Out of the goals that were expressed in the syllabus, I believe that couple them were successfully achieved throughout this course. Developing an argument and writing a persuasive paper. I feel like I successfully learned how to take a controversy, pick a side, and express my opinion the the public with a persuasive voice. Another success was using the conventions of academic writing, including clear, convincing prose

Revisiting My Writing Process

After going through and reading my first post about my writing process I noticed many things. At the beginning of this course I thought of my writing process as heavily planned out along with procrastination. Which was true and is still true. The first project I did for this class was extremely planned out and I wrote both the draft and the final paper on the days that they were do. It is just the way I like to write. I like to sit down knowing that this is the only time to do it, making me get it all done in one sitting. The thing that I lacked and said I wanted to improve on was my revisions. I can proudly say that I have been improving on that part of writing immensely. As the second project came along I still planned it out very specifically and waited for the last minute, however, I looked over my draft and final paper 2 or 3 more times than I ever did before. I even remember when I was turning in my second project, I was confident that it was thoroughly done and didn't have many mistakes at all. I knew that it read through clearly and that made me feel very confident while turning it in. The same thing happened with this last project. I planned it out with many details and wrote it on the last day, however, I looked over and read it out loud multiple times. I changed the organization, sentence structures, and even added more to it while revising. It made my paper a whole lot better from the draft. I am glad that I incorporated this part of writing through this class because it is vital to do before turning in a paper. My experience in this class tells me that my writing can exponentially get better through the different processes I keep learning to go through when writing a paper. It showed me that I am extremely interested in my field and that I enjoy writing about it. It tells me that I may be working in the field of Astronomy when I am finishing up college. 

Reflection on project 3

1) From my draft I re organized the paragraphs to make it flow better, Integrated my quotes and gave them deeper analysis, and also added visual effects to my paper. There were also multiple grammar mistakes that I had to fix. 

Draft-"The issue is do these people really understand the logistics and details of this telescope? "

Final-"The issue is whether or not people understand the logistics and details of the Thirty Meter Telescope."

2) I didn't change my thesis at all but in my draft I started with my rebuttals and then stated my argument, but then I changed my rebuttals to then end and it seemed like it was better that way.

3) My peer reviews along with the style of my argument. My audience and purpose stayed consistent with both drafts.

4) These changes make my argument more thorough and easier to read, making my audience see that my writing is organized showing thatI know what I'm doing. This gives my paper credibility. A well presented paper makes the writer look like a professional.

5) These changes help better address the audience by tying them into my viewpoint before I rebuttal to their views on the situation. It makes them ponder while reading my viewpoint, then I cancel out their viewpoints with my rebuttals, leaving my stand on the situation stuck in their heads.

6) I made it so I had a wide variety of sentences from compound complex all the way to simple sentences all throughout my paper. The article style stayed the same, I just added more visual effects the add more attention grabbers.

"The thirty meter telescope is the biggest telescope to ever be built."

"It is also important to acknowledge our origin because it is where we came from and has significance on who we are today, but is it right to let our past hold us back and stop us from moving forward and progressing?"

7)These changes will help my audience read through the paper more easily and focused making them really think about whats right in this controversy. It will make them question themselves and possibly change their viewpoints. 

8) No I did not have to reconsider the conventions of the my genre. Other than changing my rebuttals to the end my convention were perfect for my audience and the structure of my paper.

9) This reflection process helped me understand what I went through to make a paper final. It made me understand the types of revision I need to look over and how much I needed to change from a draft to a final.

Final Project 3 

The importance of TMT

Punctuation, Part 2

Apostrophe

• Do not use apostrophe to make numbers, letters, and abbreviations plural For example "1920s not 1920's"
• don't use apostrophe for letter unless it is lower case. Other ways you can use italics. For example " Js, js"  Exception for A and I so confusion is not caused "A's, I's"
• Avoid misusing apostrophe, make sure the word is always possessive.

Quotation marks 

• when using quotation within quotation only use the single quotation marks
• use them around titles of short works
• use them to set off words used as words ( The words "accept" and "except" are frequently confused
• use comma before quotation when introducing a quote said by someone 

Other punctuation Marks 

• To use a dash use to hyphens, they are used to separate material that needs emphasis 
• Dashes can be used to set off appositives that contain commas and introduce list
• Parenthesis are used to enclose extra information. They can also be used while numbering a list in writing form.
• Brackets  should be used to enclose information inside of a quote
• Slashes are used to separate a couple lines in poetry 

Evidence 

TMT officials have said that " they have sought to minimize the project’s environmental effects by choosing a site where fewer animals might be affected, building a double-walled septic tank to handle all wastewater, and committing to using less hazardous chemicals in the observatory." (Hofschneider, Anita.)

When integrating quote I need to place a comma after "that"

"That's why this thirty meter telescope is so important. It may lead us to new information that can revolutionize the future.…."

The apostrophe he is used correctly but I feel that it would be better to say "That is" instead of "That's" in this situation

Reflection of Project 3 Draft

1) The purpose in my first draft was to portray the importance of telescopes and how this TMT will help our future without destroying the culture and environment on Mauna Kea. My audience was aimed to this posting on social media about shutting down TMT. IT was celebrities to many others who heard about the controversy and wanted to join the protest. I feel like I reached my purpose but organized it in a confusing way. I am going to reorganize the paper to make it flow better so my audience can get a better understanding on my viewpoint. 

2) I am revising my paper to make it more clear an understanding. If it doesn't give off the right purpose or message my audience will not be pursuaded, making the paper not accomplish anything towards the controversy. I am going to make it flow better by re organizing the paragraphs and cutting out any extra information. 

3) I am revising it for my audience so they can focus on reading the paper without being confused or misunderstanding any statements. It needs to be read through clearly so they can ponder on my viewpoints on the controversy. If they are confused my point will not persuade them to take any actions.

4)I believe the length of paper in good and has plenty of details 

- I like the format that it is in. It comes off as an article type of righting with more personal opinions.

- I need to add some visual effects to grasp my audiences attention while reading through the paper. 

- I have plenty of evidence and quotes spread out through my paper to create credibility 

- My intro just needs an opening quote to catch attention. But my conclusion wraps up all my ideas and points nicely

- I am going to switch around the structure of my argument my adding my rebuttals to the end this time instead of the beginning. 

- My argument has depth because it brings in many others viewpoints that are similar to mine.

Jake Glatting
Adam Karsten

Punctuation

The Comma 

• a comma should be used when joining two independent clauses, it should act as a conjunction
• When using an introductory phase place a comma after it to separate it from the rest of the sentence. Example, "After we climbed," of "Today,"
• When stating a series of things or ideas use commas to separate each one. Has to be three or more.
• When using two adjectives to describe the same thing place a comma in between. It can only be used with coordinate adjectives.

Semi Colon

• Use semicolon between related independent clauses.
• Transitional expressions such as however, nonetheless, and anyway etc, can use a semicolon to conjoin sentences. This also works with transitional phrases.
• series with internal punctuation should have a semicolon instead of a comma. 
• Semicolon can often be overused as a comma.

Colon

• can be used to direct attention to a list, appositive, quotation, or explanation. Basically a signal for one of these.
• Use a colon according to convention. Examples are time 6:30 or dressing a letter, or bibliography entires.
• the colon can be misused as commas. They don't belong in series or the conjoining of sentences. 

Reflection 

After reading through my peers drafts I noticed that commas and semicolons are used way to frequently and in the wring situations. They are place when people think they hear a comma not when it is grammatically correct which can cause confusion to the readers.

"Every single person struggles with some aspect of the social game throughout life. Whether the struggle involves making new friends, keeping old ones, or having the courage to go ask out that pretty girl across the room that you know is way out of your league,; robots can help you to gain confidence, make a new friend, and learn how to interact in all of those situations that you never thought you could."

The semi colon was not used correctly.

Well a new wave of “stem cell banks” have been created and this allows the storage of stem cells for treatment.

Integration of quote should be spaced with a comma before

Draft of Public Argument.

I still need to add a couple of sources to my draft for background info, but overall I'm focused on my organization. Right now I have my rebuttals first and I address my audiences viewpoints and back up my answers. I then go into detail about how important the telescope is. I like how it is set up now, but if you guys can comment or think I should re-organize let me know! I feel like rambled on my opinions a lot so if their is too much please comment. Thank you.

Public argument draft

"Paraphrasing a Source"

 From source- Mauna Kea is an ideal location for astronomy period, not just the TMT.  Basically, almost any kind of astronomy where you’re looking at radiation that gets through our atmosphere, because Mauna Kea is this wonderful shield volcano. As you may remember from when you was a little kid, the shield volcano is this thing that looks like a shield, right? It allows air to flow very nicely and uniformly in what we call laminar flow over basically the peak of the volcano. You can contrast this with something like Mount St. Helens, which is one of these peak volcanoes, where air will flow up in it and create a very turbulent flow, and it won’t be a nice and smooth laminar flow of atmosphere. Now, that laminar flow of atmosphere means that we can look through the atmosphere without seeing any turbulent flows. You can imagine, painting a painting with a brush and, if it’s a turbulent atmosphere, you then have to use a really big brush to paint the picture. But if the atmosphere is laminar—a nice smooth, flow as it does over the shield volcano—then you can use brush tips that are very, very small to increase the details which you can see in the sky. So Mauna Kea, and likewise Haleakalā, they are both shield volcanoes and allow for this shield of air over the summit in a very nice manner that is best for astronomy. We're also sitting in the middle of this big thermal bath, the Pacific Ocean, which is sort of always the same temperature, which means temperature is also kind of controlled. It’s just the perfect location. Chile has the problem that it’s not a shield volcano configuration, it’s typically plates that are getting jagged and pushed up. Mauna Kea is really the best.

Paraphrasing- Paul Coleman overviews the advantages that Mauna Kea brings to the scientific community and how it is a perfect place for TMT to be built. Paul gets into detail explaining the geography of Mauna Kea and how it creates pristine air flow, making a smooth atmosphere that is very advantages for telescopes to look at radiation. He separates Mauna Kea from the other possible sites because it is in the middle of the ocean, creating a controlled temperature unlike Chile.

Outlining my public argument

Introduction- ( address the audience by paraphrasing source on social media posts.)For my introduction I am going to use the "Connect the issue to your audiences World View". For this approach I am going to start be acknowledging the importance of culture and origin to relate to my audiences values and viewpoints on the situation. After I go over basic details on the subject I am going to explain the major importance of this Telescope by introducing my viewpoint. My viewpoint is that it is important to respect culture and acknowledge it, but we can't let it stop us from moving forward and helping our society. This will be helpful because it shows my audience that I am not disrespecting their viewpoints while expressing mine. 

Major supporting Arguments:

• The TMT telescope is new technology that will collect information never seen before in our universe. The importance of this telescope is immense and has many effects of the future of our society and even our world. Without it, we are unable to advance in our society, making no forward progress. ( showing the importance for the future )
• Mauna Kea is an Astronomical anomaly  having the greatest conditions for telescopes to to see into space clearly without any disturbance or bad effects. It had amazing conditions that make it the perfect spot for this amazing telescope. ( shot informational argument to explain why mauna kea )
• Mauna Kea has been seen as environmentally sensitive but the TMT construction team has made and taken many precautions to limit the effects that this telescope will have on the environment. ( this is to argue and show how the TMT project is respecting the land and the culture )
• The TMT project brings great advantages to the community and the University of Hawaii. It is generating a huge amount of money towards the land, and is creating a workforce for the community to help create jobs and employ people who need help. ( how TMT is giving to the community and the future )

Major Criticisms and rebuttals ( Note*- I am going to start me article with rebuttals therefore, when I get into my full argument, the critics will already be addressed )

• Mauna Kea is the origin of Hawaiian Natives and their ancestors. It is an extremely sacred land that contains burial sights and many other monuments. Its a place that should always be remembered and not be tampered with. 

                          Rebuttal - Mauna Kea is extremely sacred and the cultural behind is very important, however, the TMT construction is not effecting any on the burial sights or monuments on Mauna Kea, leaving no harm to the land. Culture is something that we all should value and that I even value personally, but when something like this telescope that has such an advancement in our society, we shouldn't let our past hold us back. I believe that as long as the telescope doesn't effect any of the monuments, it should be allowed to be their along with the importance of the culture.

• Mauna Kea is filled with Hawaiian culture and very scared to the community, therefore the native Hawaiians should be allowed to decide what gets built there. 

                        Rebuttal- Even though the Hawaiians have a significant past with this land and it is where they came from, the land is owned by the University of Hawaii, which is also collecting 1 million dollars in rent a year from the telescope. Therefore, It is up to the owners of the land in legal terms.

Gather Evidence ( Each color separates for which argument the evidence goes with)

"TMT will therefore reach further and see more clearly than previous telescopes by a factor of 10 to 100 depending on the observation" ( TMT.org )

"TMT will provide new observational opportunities in essentially every field of astronomy and astrophysics. Because of the decades-long lifetime of TMT and the often-rapid advancement of astronomy into new areas, broadly useful capabilities have been emphasized, while maintaining specific capabilities needed to address key programs that are known now". (TMT.org )

"On the closer-end scale, people will be looking for planets—Earth-type planets where we might find life."(Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist)

"Mauna Kea is an ideal location for astronomy period, not just the TMT"(Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist)

"Now, that laminar flow of atmosphere means that we can look through the atmosphere without seeing any turbulent flows. You can imagine, painting a painting with a brush and, if it’s a turbulent atmosphere, you then have to use a really big brush to paint the picture. But if the atmosphere is laminar—a nice smooth, flow as it does over the shield volcano—then you can use brush tips that are very, very small to increase the details which you can see in the sky. So Mauna Kea, and likewise Haleakalā, they are both shield volcanoes and allow for this shield of air over the summit in a very nice manner that is best for astronomy" (Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist)

"Only a short piece of road would have to be constructed to the 13N site." ( Testing )

"TMT officials say they have sought to minimize the project’s environmental effects by choosing a site where fewer animals might be affected, building a double-walled septic tank to handle all wastewater, and committing to using less hazardous chemicals in the observatory." (Hofschneider, Anita.)

“It can’t happen,” Dawson said. “It’s a physical thing, it’s not an opinion thing.” (Hofschneider, Anita.)

"Dawson acknowledged that the road extension would curb the Wekiu bug’s habitat, but said the TMT is planning to fund a restoration project to mitigate that" (Hofschneider, Anita.)

We’re also paying rent [a million dollars per year], because we heard that. One thing you often hear from Hawaiians is ‘what will my kids be doing there.’ So we’re doing a workforce pipeline to ensure Hawaiians can work on the project.” (Alex Knapp)

"We’re able to hire the best people in the world because they want to come here to use the telescopes and be a part of this institute and that will of course occur and, again, continue" (Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist)

Conclusion - For my conclusion, i am going to use the "Future of the Debate" style. For this I am going to state the current motions of this project and where it is heading for. I a m then going to address my audience by explaining how this project is respectful towards the culture and environment and that without the support, the building could come to a halt. I will then further explain how the absence of this telescope will be detrimental to our future because it is one of kind. 

Five Basic types of Public Argument 

The types of arguments that work for my project:

• Positions argument- This argument displays both sides of the controversy with there pros and cons and then includes an opinion of my own in which I pick a side and explain why. I think this one will work for my project because I think it is important to go over both sides of the controversy to show how I also respect the cu;true on Mauna Kea but still support the TMT project. It says "you would develop your own defenses of the position". This is important in my argument because its where I would show my perspective after I showed the two different perspectives on the controversy.
• Casual argument- This argument will work for my project because it displays a positions and then expands on the solutions to this controversy. Because my viewpoint on the controversy has a solution I feel that this argument style would be useful to use. Its says "yo are able to help your audience understand the potential solutions to the controversy as well". Majority of my argument is to help my audience understand the importance of this telescope. Thats why this will be an effective style. 
• Evaluative argument- "This argument evaluates the successfulness of a specific policy". My argument focuses on explaining how the telescope will be advantages to all and be successful in the future. This argument evaluates both sides of the controversy which will be helpful to me because I will be able to show respect to the Native Hawaiian view when evaluating their position on the controversy. That will help me receive less rebuttals to my argument. 

The types of arguments that will not work for my project:

• Proposal argument- This argument focuses on "analyzing a particular problem" further on making a proposal for the problem at hand. I feel that in my project I don't need to do much analysis of the problem, I just need to show a different viewpoint on the issue for my audience to think about. 
• Refutation argument- This argument is all about refuting another viewpoint which is exactly what I don't want to do. In my argument I want to introduce and new viewpoint that expands from others to support TMT. My argument does not point out any "harmful public effects" or try to downplay others views on the controversy. 

My Rhetorical Action Plan 

1) I am trying to persuade the people in the social media world who have taken a stand on the protests of shutting down TMT. 

• knowledge- The audience knows that Mauna Kea is a sacred and environmentally sensitive area in which the biggest telescope ever is in the process of being built. Their knowledge of the subject can vary from knowing just the basics above, to knowing more details about Mauna Kea and its importance to the Natives. Their position on the topic is to stop TMT from being built on the sacred land of Mauna Kea. They most likely heard about this information or controversy through twitter, news articles, or magazines. 
• value- The values that my audience holds is the importance of culture and religion. They believe in protecting and following the practices and rules of their culture. They want to protect the origins of where they came from as a symbol or respect to their ancestors. They believe that they should keep their holy and sacred land as monument for todays society. 
• Standards of Arguments: The research on studies about how the TMT project is taking precautions with the land they are building on, and the environmental effect they face. I will also use professional insights showing my audience the importance of this telescope to the Hawaiian community and our world, showing that it has more advantages than disadvantages. I will translate this research by breaking it down into parts by showing how this project is not hurting the land they treasure, and then by displaying the importance of this telescope and its benefits to the audience and the native Hawaiians 
• Visual Elements- My audience may respond to images of the telescope and what it will look like, but also images that show emotion and character of construction workers or team managers showing respect to the culture on Mauna Kea.
• Purpose- My audience is reading/listening to my argument to see another perspective on the controversy that they may not have insight on. My argument could show another perspective, but also relay new information to people who have chosen a side but don't know many details about the controversy at first hand. I am trying to expand their understand so they can make an educated decision. Even though most of my audience has taken a position, I think that my argument can show them a different perspective on this telescope, hopefully leading to rethink their opinions. I believe that my argument is likely to motivate some of audience but not all. Some people don't value worldview and will only stick to one opinion without considering the other viewpoints.

2) I will be writing/or podcasting a persuasive from of writing. 

• the function of this genre is to persuade the opposing viewpoints on a controversy to understand and agree with my opinions and viewpoint on the debate. Its designed to make the readers rethink their opinions and understand another perspective. I chose it because I have a strong opinion on the TMT controversy and I want my audience to see my viewpoint because I thing it is plausible and important. 
• The setting of my genre could be used in a science magazine and or a video podcast on social media. I could see it being used on social media such as Facebook or twitter because that is where this controversy has blown up.
• The two main rhetorical appeals that I will use are logos and pathos. Logos because I want to state the facts of how TMT is not hurting the land on Muana Kea, and to also show the contributions TMT will bring to the astronomy community. I will use pathos to reach my audiences emotions on the controversy because to persuade someone I have to make them understand the facts and the feelings of my viewpoints. I will do this by adding visual effects and maybe use a podcast so they can hear the tone in my voice. 
• Depending on whether I do a podcast or not, I will most likely use visual elements to show the telescope.
• I will use a conversational style to reach my audience because I don't want them to feel preached at or looked down upon. I want my approach to be seen as a different viewpoint for my audience to ponder about. 

3) - Positive support 

• My audience may understand my argument and start posting on social media to support the TMT project 
• People who were not educated on the subject can now take a stand on how they feel towards it.
• People will start to see the importance of telescope and the benefits they can bring 

Negative rebuttals 

• People may see it as disrespect to the native Hawaiian culture to support the TMT project 
• My audience could become angry and post even more to help shutdown TMT 

- The rebuttal of seeing my comments as disrespect to the native Hawaiian culture. 

• I would respond by showing my respect to their culture, and by explaining how I value culture and religion too, but i would say that I won't let my past hold me back from moving forward in the future. I would explain to them how I believe it is important to move forward while respecting our past and culture by making compromises between both. 

- The path of my persuasion 

• If my argument successfully persuades my audience to see how harmless yet important this telescope can be, I can see it hitting the social media word with people posting to help put the TMT project with respect the Hawaiian culture. Further on I could see it reaching other countries showing Hawaiians and other protecters/supporters of Mauna Kea to also see my perspective. That will lead to a mutual view in hope of ending this controversy and finding compromises to where this telescope can be up and running on Mauna Kea without causing harm to the Natives and their sacred land.

Analyzing Context

1) In my debate/controversy there are a couple different perspectives on the issue. One viewpoint is that the land on Mauna Kea is the most sacred land to Hawaiian Natives and their culture. It is also environmentally sensitive, making many people believe that TMT should not be built here due to the sacred land along with the environmental issues. The other perspective is from people who Mauna Kea as an astronomical piece of land. It has great conditions for telescopes and their are already 13 there. They believe that TMT needs to be built here and that it will give to the community in Hawaii, and also bring new information to astronomers that can be very useful. 

2) The major points of disagreement here is that the native Hawaiians, and many others, believe that it is not right to build on sacred land where their culture began. It is the origin of their culture and they don't want anyone stepping on it, even though their are already 13 other telescopes in the same area! Another point of disagreement is who should have ownership of the land. As of right now it is the University of Hawaii, but that may be changed as challenges have been sent to the supreme court. Who should decide what can be built or not built on this land?

3) The points of agreements are that Mauna Kea is sacred land and also has great astronomical benefits. Other than the idea that the land has both of these meanings and conditions, the opposing sides don't agree on much else. Many do agree that TMT will be a great source for new findings in astronomy, but they don't agree on the location of where it should be built. 

4) Both perspectives respect the each others views and importances, but each side values their own more. One perspective believes in culture and following the footsteps of ancestors with respect, while the other perspective focuses on the future and moving forward in our world, but as said before both sides still respect each others beliefs. 

5) The perspective of saving Mauna Kea and shutting down TMT wants their audience to fight for the sacred land and its ownership. They want their audience to fight for their past and culture, making the Natives have the decisions of weather or not this telescope can be built here. The opposing perspective want their audience to acknowledge the significance of the culture on Mauna Kea, but more importantly understand how important it is for this telescope to be placed here. They want there audience to understand the importance of TMT and make it public to show everyone how it can change our world. 

6) The people who view TMT as an important role in our future will help with my argument. The viewpoint of respecting culture but also focusing on the future will help back up my opinion on this controversy. I chose this side of the argument because its what I believe in and what I think is right. These perspectives will contribute to the credibility in my opinion by showing many others out there support the TMT project on Mauna Kea. 

7) The native Hawaiians perspective will be a huge threat to my argument because it is their home land and culture that I am fighting against. When I say fighting against I don't mean as of way of dissing their culture. I respect it and believe that everyone should embrace their past and origins, but when I'm arguing that this project should/needs to be built on their sacred land, my viewpoint will most likely not be accepted by them. Also the people that are worried about the environmental issues on Mauna Kea. They will most likely disagree with my statements because I believe that TMT is okay for the land that they are worried about.

Analyzing Purpose

1) After people read or listen to my public argument, I want them to understand and respect both sides of the argument, but also be able to understand my point of view on the importance of this telescope and our future. I want them to see how I respect the cultural views of native Hawaiians and their religious practices along with the environmental issues at Mauna Kea, but more importantly I want them to understand how this telescope is causing no harm to the land and bringing many benefits to our society and even Mauna Kea itself. 

2) Plausible actions and reactions.

• It would be plausible for people to start researching about the controversy and staying up to date 
• It would be plausible for people to start supporting TMT through social media
• It would be plausible for people to start focusing on the future and how this telescope might help
• It would be plausible for Native Hawaiians to understand the importance for this telescope to be built on Mauna Kea
• It would be plausible to protest on the controversy 

Not Plausible

• Not plausible to find a new place for the telescope to be built
• Not plausible to stop the construction of TMT 
• Not plausible to stop all of the protestors 
• Not plausible to put all the protestors in jail 
• Not plausible to ignore the cultural significance of Mauna Kea 

3) After people read or listen to this statement it is plausible for them to start posting about the positives of TMT and its significance towards our future. It could then blow up in the social media world, making native Hawaiians learn more about TMT along with many other people against the project. After it spreads across the country and or world, Native Hawaiians could see the viewpoints from the other side of the controversy, making them understand and believe in the TMT project. Further on stopping the controversy between the protestors and construction workers, making the project easy to finish and begin collecting data, giving benefits to everyone. 

4) The audience or group of people I am trying to speak two can be split into to groups. The first group would be Native Hawaiians, along with any others,  who believe that nothing should be placed on their sacred land. This group of people mainly believe that TMT should not be placed on Mauna Kea. Some of them may be educated on the insights and goals of TMT, but I think that most of them aren't. I want to reach out to them because if they can understand that the project isnt hurting the land and is very beneficial, it could eventually lead to the end of this controversy. My second audience is a group of people who don't know much about the controversy but can start contributing. I am aiming towards mostly students with a background or any knowledge of Astronomy. I want to reach out to them and display the importance of this project, so they can start sharing their opinions publicly to spread the idea.  

Audience and Genre 

- Audience 1: One group of people that will be an audience toward my paper are other students who are in Astronomy programs a their school. These groups of people are interested in the subject and also eager to learn about new events about the biggest telescope that will ever be built. Telescopes are one of the major pieces of technology that an Astronomy student uses. That is why they will be interested in this controversy and paper. 

          

•  My sources of publication for this audience would consist of popular science and Astronomy Magazines. This paper would appear as an article in the magazines.

                          Sky and Telescope 

                          Sky at night 

•       The other source of publication would be in school Newspapers. These are not read by all people, but would be read by students with big Astronomy departments, because this controversy is big in the Astronomy world. 

                          The Daily Wildcat

                          Ka Leo

- Audience 2: Another group of people who would be and audience for my paper would be the natives, students, and the Astronomy community effected by this controversy.       

• I would publish my paper in the local newspapers of that area because this controversy is located on the main Hawaii Island, therefor, these people will be reading news and opinions on the controversy daily

                         Hawaii Tribune

                        Big Island Now

• My second area of publication would be in the top cultural and Astronomical blogs in Hawaii. Many people would be able to see my opinion about the controversy going on their land. It would be away to see an outsiders view on the topic.

                       Love Big Island Blog 

                       Protect Mauna Kea Blog

extended Annotated Bibliography

Hitt, Christine. "The Sacredness of Mauna Kea Explained." MANA. N.p., 7 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 Aug. 2015.

This article overviews the sacred land of Mauna Kea. It first starts by describing its geographical features along with its elevation and other characteristics. The article then goes into talking about the lands genealogy by describing certain meanings of Hawaiian sayings and the history of the land. After, the article goes further into detail talking about important lakes and their significance towards the culture. It also points out the important burial sites in Muana Kea by giving examples of who the people were and their significance. Finally the article shows a map of the land and points out every sacred or cultural aspect on Mauna Kea. This article will help me in my paper because it gives great detail of what Native Hawaiians are trying to protect. It shows their point of view of the land.

Hofschneider, Anita. "Does the Thirty Meter Telescope Pose Environmental Risks? - Civil Beat." Civil Beat. N.p., 26 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 Aug. 2015.

This article talks about the environmental effects and precautions that the TMT is going through and its impact on Mauna Kea. It explains how TMT picked the exact spot for construction and the evaluations they went through when deciding. It also talks about new environmental statements that are being made in order to stop TMT. This article will help me in my project because it shows the precautions that TMT went through before building, showing that they are respecting the land they work with.

Hofschneider, Anita. "Hashtag Heard 'Round the World: Social Media Fuels TMT Protests - Civil Beat." Civil Beat. N.p., 15 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 Aug. 2015.

This article talks about the explosion of the TMT controversy on social media. It focuses on the #TMTshutdown, showing that it has been posted all around the world, making this controversy bigger and bigger. The author explains several different stories of people who have posted and the different hashtags they have been using. She also talks about how this started with such a small group of protestors but has been seen globally. This article will help in my project by showing the other side of the controversy and their plan to keep fighting this issue. It will help me show how big this issue has turned into through social media.

ITO, DANIEL IKAIKA. "A Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist's Mana'o on the Thirty Meter Telescope." A Native Hawaiian Astrophysicist's Mana'o on the Thirty Meter Telescope. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Aug. 2015.

This article is about an Astrophysicist who is also a Hawaiian Native talking about TMT and why it is good. The article goes into detail about the advantages that TMT will bring to the scientific community. More importantly it talks about why Mauna Kea is the perfect place for TMT to be built and the research it will lead us too. Finally it goes over the information TMT will bring scientists along with the public misconceptions on the project. This will be extremely helpful in my project because it shows all the positives for TMT from a professional who is also a Hawaiian Native.

"Thirty Meter Telescope Case Headed to Hawaii Supreme Court - Pacific Business News." Pacific Business News. N.p., 8 June 2015. Web. 01 Aug. 2015.

This article talks about the case that is going to the supreme court for the TMT and Mauna Kea issue. It overviews the specifics of the case and what is being appealed. It talks about the important people who got together to appeal the states decision. This will be helpful towards my paper because it gives me updated info on the future of the TMT project as it goes to the supreme court.