Clarity, Part 1

The 4 topics that I overviewed were: needed words, shifts, appropriate language, and variety.

Needed words

 After reading this topic, I learned a lot about the words "that" and "who". I read how these words can be called "omitted words" and that they are sometimes useful to use in sentences to make sure the audience doesn't get confused when reading an sentence. Another think I learned from this section was a way to rearrange opening clauses in a sentence to make it flow better. This technique makes sentences more clear and easier to read.

Shifts

After reading through this topic, I overviewed previous knowledge about keeping a paper in one point of view. Such as 1st person, 2nd person, and 3rd person. What was knew to me was keeping contact verb tenses. For example, when using the words jump and swim, people should use the same tense for both words in a sentence. When someone uses jumped they should also use swam or when using jumps they should use swims. The last thing from this section was keeping a constant mood and voice in the verbs. The three different types are Indicative ( facts and opinions ), Imperative ( orders and advice ), and subjunctive ( express wishes and conditions ). 

Appropriate language

The main idea that was introduced to me was Jargon. Jargon is a specialized language used among members of trade, profession, or group. For example the indicator is more known as sign. This language should be avoided in essays. Also people should avoid pretentious language. Or in other words, don't use big words to look sophisticated. Only use them when needed to.

Variety.

- Use adverbial modifiers to change up the beginning of each sentences.

- use a variety of sentence structures 

simple 

compound

complex

compound complex

- only use inverted sentences in formal contexts.

Reflection

After reading through my peers drafts, I realized that people make these types of errors all the time.  I realized that you have to read very closely to find some of them, but they are there. The most common error I found was in needed words and variety. A lot of people didn't have a hug variety of sentences. Second people were missing words that could have been used to make their sentences a little bit more clear.

"I think this helps the audience pick the best option for them by not having to feel a slight sense of uncertainty based on another emotions towards the topic." 

-This is from Brittneys paper and she brought her own opinion into the essay which is fine but it switched up her point of view to first person. This rule is from what I learned in the "shifts" section

Another expert Neighmond uses is from Jim Sallis, a family and preventive medicine professor at the University of California, San Diego, “But if you think about it, one hour of playing football out on the field means that the vast majority of that time is spent standing around waiting for the next play” (Neighmond, 2014)

-Right before the quote, Salena needs to ass the words "who says" to make the audience understand who is saying the quote, and to also make the integration of the quote flow better. This correction comes from the "needed words" section I studied about.