Draft of Quick Reference Guide
After making my draft, I feel like I put a lot of information into the draft but I'm not sure if it comes off to the audience in the right way. I tried to organize it by explaining one side of the controversy then the other. I still need to brush up on some of my citations.
I didn't see a way to post comments on your draft in google docs...I hope it's all right to post them here. Thx - J.
ReplyDeleteComments:
Good info. Strong beginning. The question asks if it is "right" to build the telescope on land that is sacred to the people that live there which is a good question. I didn't notice it coming up again in the following discussion, though.
Both sides of the controversy are clearly stated. The reasons why each are on different sides should be expanded. Some quotes from the protesters would be a good addition. The negative impact on the protesters lives because of the telescope's being built would also be good to add.
Secondary sources used well and clearly. Also, while the addition of a protest video is a very effective idea, perhaps captions or a news feed narration could be added to emphasize the cause.
Organization of ideas is good, the text flowed well. Transitional phrases would help carry the story smoothly forward. The conclusion could return to the original question in the intro.