Draft Thesis Statements
1) In the article, "NASA to Cut Back Scientific Missions Because of Budget", Dennis Overbye, the author, explains how detrimental the effects of the budget cuts are on scientists and their missions by including statistical information, inside views from NASA employees and project leaders, and well organized context with an emotional appeal towards his audience.
2) In the article, "NASA to Cut Back Scientific Missions Because of Budget", Dennis Overbye fill the article with context, quotes from professionals on the subject, and many appeals to emotion to portray how the budget cuts have been effecting scientists and their projects at NASA.
These are the two thesis's that I came up with. I think that they both explain what the author used in his article to show his argument, but I think there is still a way to organize it or make my three points a little more clear. Im still deciding where I want to add in the authors information to show his credibility. I know a small part of it can be in the thesis but i'm unsure of where I should place it.
Reflection
After reading through my classmates thesis's I noticed that there were many variations of thesis's. I think Selena and I had very similar ones because we both incorporated the authors strategies that we were going to talk about in our essay. I think now I can make my thesis a little less choppy by using smaller definitions of the rhetorical strategies that my author used when stating them in my thesis.
IMHO the first statement is clearer and more precise; this makes it simpler to use for writing a draft. It may be a good idea to include some of the author's credentials, especially for a science-based text where credibility is crucial.
ReplyDeleteI agree that your first thesis is a little more precise and much more free-flowing. It sounds better. I would stick with that one; however, I don't think you need to add author information. Instead, I would try to focus on adding something about the opinion that Overbye has on the situation and how his statistical information and organized context helps him to show readers what his opinion is. Remember that this project is focused on analyzing how the author speaks to his audience, rather than just purely rhetorical strategy. I like to think of it like this: This project isn't about what the author does to seem valid, its about how the author successfully or unsuccessfully seems valid in their efforts to reach a connection with their audience. Focus on how he is grabbing the audiences attention and the affects that the rhetorical piece helps to grasp his audiences views.
ReplyDeleteYour first thesis explains your topic better than the second thesis statement. I like how you piece together your ideas in the first thesis because to me it makes more sense than the second one. I would maybe discuss views of the other side of the topic in your thesis, however you have a very well written thesis # 1.
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